Theatre People are Funny

I don’t often blog about such fluff as this, but I was cleaning out the ol’ e-mail today and found a few priceless quotes from techs I’ve sat through in the last year.  They made me chuckle.  They probably won’t make you chuckle, as you weren’t there the first time around, but here they are just in case.

On inter-cast dating:

Actor 1: “Apparently he dumped her like two days ago, so that was probably the worst stage kiss of her life.”
Actor 2: “He’s hot, though.”
Actor 1: “Yes, he IS hot.”
Actor 2: “And he’s single now…”

On first-read-through:

“It had a story and an arc and I could see the lighting possibilities…”

On stage directions:

Director: “It stays up-right for the entire show.”
Set Designer (with a look of panic): “Were you thinking of turning it over?”
Director: “No, up STAGE right.”
Set Designer: “Oh.”

On unconventional casting:

Director: “I can see the audition notice now: ‘Male and female, any age, must love tomatoes.”
Artistic Director: “There is no pay, only tomatoes.”
Director: “And possible nudity.”
Artistic Director: “Possible awkward nudity.”
Director: “Possible awkward nudity… and tomatoes.”


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